Dildos Are Just Acoustic Vibrators: The Funniest Tweets About Sex

Dick jokes have existed as forever, so it makes sense that it provides the best Twitter content as well. We've done two installments of our favorite tweets so far—click here for Part 1 and Part 2. And of course, don't forget to follow Doc Johnson, @TheOriginalDoc.

When you got a dick appt and Mother Nature wanna pop up 😩🙄 pic.twitter.com/NnYXNcIldL

— bri (@britoonz) August 5, 2019

Men:
-nut in five minutes or less
-internalized misogyny and homophobia
-will probably cheat on you

Vibrators:
-reliable
-rechargeable
-go for several rounds
-don’t talk about their exes
-make u cum
-selfless
-not trash

— satan’s main bitch (@dumpstxrfire) August 30, 2019

“vibrator” is actually short for “vibe curator”

— harry (@harry_on_twiter) September 3, 2019

I like dick pics but not in a sexual way I'm just nosey

— honest jabe (@jaynooch) September 4, 2019

My pussy after hearing the vibrator turn on for the 5th time that day pic.twitter.com/aLXRvQokvK

— lisa pizza (@sixteenburritos) October 7, 2019

using a vibrator as an outboard motor on my pool floatie

— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) September 6, 2019

dildos are just acoustic vibrators

— sexy pavement lichen (semi-hiatus) (@queerarcana) September 9, 2019

reached a new high today by solving a minor plumbing problem with my suction cup dildo

— a very cool, stable guy (@HOTDEVILSLUG) September 9, 2019

I was in a sex shop and saw a dildo described as "nine inches long and realistic" and thought "well, which is it?".

— Belial (@Belial23) September 20, 2019

When her vibrator stop workin pic.twitter.com/bRhYotVHXU

— JP (@jpboomin) September 20, 2019

😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/bbnoAkA9ai

— Doc Johnson (@TheOriginalDoc) September 29, 2019

Really want to see a trumpet player use a dildo as a wah mute before I die

— 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖋 𝖌𝖋 (@miyazakivillain) September 30, 2019