8 Historically Badass Ways to Refer to a Vagina

Vajeen. Vag. Vajayjay.

There are so many ways to refer to genitalia, that calling it a vagina almost seems passé. While going through and collecting so much historical sex slang for this blog, we couldn't help but notice one thing: Vaginas are badass and strong, and everybody throughout time has known it.

Quiver (1550)

This one makes sense. Arrows are kept in the quiver, and when you live in the 16th century, that imagery is commonplace. When we follow the logic, we can assume that dicks were the arrows, and we love the idea that quivers hold quite a few arrows at a time.

Aphrodisiacal Tennis Court (1665)

This one takes a bit more imagination. Taking a turn on the aphrodisiacal tennis court was a term coined by Sir Thomas Urquhart, and while it isn't confirmed to have caught on with the public, it definitely paints a fun picture 350 years later. Urquhart loved mentioning vaginas; over the course  of his writings, he also called them the carnal trap, the justum, the intercrural trench, the hypogastrian cranny, and the cunny-burrow.

Tippet-de-Witchet (1700)

Easily the most fun to say on the list, tippet-de-witchet feels vaguely poetic. Witchet was a French variant way to say wicket, which originally meant door or gate, but quickly turned into a colloquialism for the vag.

Carnal Mantrap (1880)

The late 1800s were when people really started giving the vagina the respect it deserves. When written word calls it the carnal mantrap, you can assume people had started using what they possessed to get what they wanted.

Venus's Secret Cell (1890)

In case you ditched your Classics 101 lectures, here's what you need to know: Venus is the Roman God of love, sex, fertility, and beauty. She had countless lovers, so any reference to her is going to be borderline sexual. Her secret cell, therefore, can only mean one thing.

Pit of Darkness (1895)

What sounds like a hit single from a Warped Tour headliner is actually how people near the end of the 19th century could refer to the genitalia. We like to think they'd save this to describe specific sexual interactions that went poorly, but can't deny it sounds cool as hell.

Velvet-lined Meat Grinder (1950)

What an incredible picture this paints. As penises have been referred to as "meat" since the 1600s, it's almost disappointing that it took so long for the vagina to be seen as a destroyer of it. Like a James Bond movie, it makes us picture a stunningly-beautiful woman who uses her wiles to seduce the man and then take her revenge.

Take a look through lexicographer Jonathon Green's timeline of vagina slang to see more, and the tweet us @TheOriginalDoc to let us know your favorites!